Perhaps in And so. We in Berlin have been at home for over a month. We have rediscovered blue, unspoiled skies, no traffic jams, no smell of petrol or diesel in the air. Everyone remarks on the birdsong we can hear each morning. The noise levels have been so low, you can whisper on the balcony and the neighbours can hear you. We walked more slowly, stood in lines for store shopping and noticed the details on buildings and doorways, details we didn´t have or take the time no see previously. People have been worried but, somehow, the hidden treasures of going more slowly through our lives began to reveal themselves. Outside the city and in pockets within, nature seems to be more abundant than usual. Or maybe we are only noticing it more. Lush carpets of spring flowers, clear blue running rivers, clear of human litter and and green. green grass. The cyclists enjoyed the empty roads and walkers took their daily strolls as permitted by the Government authorities. Today I saw the changes. The relaxation of restrictions. More stores are open and more shoppers fill the pavements. Cars formed queues at traffic light junctions and the air was alive with engine noises. It was then, as I turned a corner, that I hear the shouting man. A tough looking cookie in a black leather jacket was waving his arms and shouting so loudly I feared he would burst a blood vessel. Shoppers sidestepped him as they looked away. He was roaring like a furnace! . My German language skills are still poor but, as I stood nearby, I saw that he seemed to be engaged in conversations with invisible people. He was arguing, so it seemed with himself. But I am a lucky man. I ran hearing voices support groups in the UK and I learned to understand that voice hearing is more normal than many of us realise. I also know that it can be very distressing and hard to deal with. Also, I am not afraid, usually, to talk with folk about their experiences if they would like me to. I strolled closer, a busking musician produced a clarinet and began to play soothing music. The man in black sat on a concrete pedestal, moving his head from side to side and eyes closed, he smiled. I smiled too. When the music stopped he began shouting again, as loud as ever. Sometimes he pointed and gesticulated to entities I could not see. Often he was quiet until a person strolled by him and then he would scream something directly at their face. It was disturbing to witness and disconcerting. It made me feel very sad. No one enjoys being shouted at and one rarely enjoys being so agitated that shouting is the only option for self expression. Though it does get peoples attention! A girl leaned a bicycle against the wall and began to lock it up. Here I had an idea to ask a question. " Excuse me. Can you translate a little bit of what this gentleman is saying?" She smiled, "I´m afraid he is a little bit mad. he is saying crazy things. I think the police will come and get him at some point. He is saying we are murderers and we will go to hell for killing our children. He says we are all child killers and we will all be punished". I know that when folk hear voices that are hard to endure, others often find the reaction of shouting and arguing with voices to be confusing, scary and distressing. So they tend to avoid the person having this experience. it´s often quite a challenge. This is why psychiatric nurses so often are limited to using simple distraction strategies to try and help the person refocus on other matters. But they rarely feel comfortable to explore and discuss the underlying experiences that cause people to talk out loud with dominating voices. They used to also tell me that they did not have the necessary time. We do not "enjoy" talking with "angry" people at the best of times if we are honest about it. Of course, by avoiding the person and therefore the behaviour, we condemn the individual more into the hands of the voices. Their powerful hold and affect is less likely to be diminished if we do not know how to safely listen, how to ask the right questions, how to explore for what lies behind distress and disturbance. And so the situation continues to deteriorate. The person is stranded by societies inherent confusion and fear and left to their own devices. No surprise that at some given point the police might be called out to come and take distressed people away. I looked at him and smiled but was answered with a hostile and frightened glance, his eyes filled with pain and anguish. He asked what I was looking at, with a few expletives and, I was afraid a little and just shrugged. I do not know enough German to engage him in a conversation. He swore at me, waving his fists and then turned his attention to others walking close by. I tried to tap into my training in Non Violent Communication skills. If he says we are killing our children and that we are all murderers what might be his motivation and the source of his anger? What might be the need in him that is not met? Where does his angry passion, his fire within come from? And then, a police siren approached us from the distance, car horns as vehicles moved out of the way, the bigger than lately crowds, the sea of shoppers looking to see, the smell of petrol, the newly dropped litter on the pavements. It all became potentially clear. Perhaps his need was a hope for children to inherit a healthy clean planet from us and one that can sustain healthy life. . His angry shouting is a way of illustrating his own distress at the state of human planetary treatment. His helplessness and anguish might be stirred up as we slowly seem to sleepwalk back into the state of being we inhabited before the virus came to visit with us. These were just my guesses. Perhaps this was his way of reminding us to care and be conscious of our duties and responsibilities. He cares so much he is willing to shout and even scream about it. How I would have l liked a conversation with him on these specific points! And, with lock down relaxation measures, he might see, from his own perspective, that the glimpse of Paradise we received of nature thriving and showing itself, a world that might yet still be, may disappear as quickly again as we all get back to what we call "normal". So, as the policemen climbed wearily out of their car, as he quickly jumped up and walked away through the busying crowds, I asked myself: is he really mad? Or could it actually be us? Just a thought.
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July 2021
AuthorActivist/ Health worker/ 20 years. Specific interests : wellness/ voice hearing/ coping/ exploring/ sharing/ stigma reduction. |