So, the Germans have a word for worries about the world that manage to seep into our souls, where we seem to be faced with dire predictions for the climate and environment, unstable changes in our political systems and uncertain futures for ourselves and the generations yet to follow in our footsteps. As the world seems to shake so do our own foundations and at a very deep level and we are in a struggle to maintain our balance. Add in a unique and totally unexpected global pandemic which disrupts systems of living and alters daily life to a degree we could not have imagined and it can be no surprise that we may feel distressed, depressed and fragile, vulnerable and even frightened. It can be hard to see or feel positive about a world that seems to be falling apart, even if it is offering us an opportunity to rebuild it anew, and we feel useless to do anything but try and survive the best we can. This deep feeling of despair is known by the Germans as "Weltschmertz", translated into "world pain" or "world sickness." And so, many of us are feeling overwhelmed, more fragile, extra sensitive, less certain and more easily triggered into reactions. We have moments of extreme anxiety and even sometimes outbursts of anger. Now, imagine that you are a person who is also having a struggle with a life experience that included hearing constant or regular criticising voices, voices that they do not identify as their own. Voices that disrupt focus and concentration, even before this current global social and economic catastrophe came to visit with us in the form of a health pandemic. Can you imagine that? Can you empathise with that experience? Would you imagine that the voices may have become even more pronounced, more urgent, more accusatory and critical? When I worked in mental health recovery roles, I had a particular interest in voice hearing experiences and wanted to help create safe spaces where people could come together without fear of judgement and diagnosis and share their lived experiences. We did not focus exclusively on the "illness" model approach to hearing unexplained voices that defines these phenomena as symptoms of underlying pathologies. We gave ourselves the space and permission to co explore other narratives, other possibilities and each person respectfully hearing other peoples explanations and possibilities. Also, we looked at the social and human stories that individuals brought with them to the sessions. We shared ideas for coping better and sometimes located the onset of voice hearing, when it all started for someone, directly at a point in time when they had undergone a traumatic event or a personal crisis. Sometimes, we could translate the meaning of a voice and connect it clearly to an unresolved wound or trauma. There was a great deal of latent wisdom in these groups, something I quickly grew to realise. I learned a great deal by asking curious questions and then simply listening. I carefully steered these groups, ensuring everyone felt safe. I wrapped up each week by summarising what we had discussed and any possible learnings we could take on. One of the lessons I learned was this. That stress and worries created uncertainties and these led to increased levels of anxiety, in turn provoking voices to be louder, harsher and crueller. This frustrating experience meant that, without stress busting and anxiety managing strategies, often voice hearers found it harder to function, became more "brittle" and were quicker to flare up and become angry. This was often understood by health workers as a sign of increasing illness and that the medicines were perhaps not working as well as hoped. Maybe an increase was necessary. An unfortunate circle of events repeated itself. It is not easy to quieten the mind and sit in meditation when your focus is dominated by voice hearing experiences that occur at any time, sometimes for prolonged periods. But a few folk tried out relaxation and meditation strategies. We listened to blissful music, birdsong cds and recorded relaxation tapes. Some individuals were able to engage and reported a benefit, and these were then continued in their own time. In a world where everything seems to be out of control, perhaps the best we can strive for is to turn our attention inwards and strive for deeper inner peace. In the world of Zen Buddhism, there is a meditation technique known as "zazen" which involves periods of time spent in front of a wall and sitting in a posture of silence. Students of Zen are guided by their teachers, who have many years of experience, to pay attention to thoughts, ideas and other phenomena that arise in their minds and then to simply be a witness to these events and not too pay too much attention. To let the thoughts arise and then, remaining observant and detached, simply view them as you would clouds appearing in a blue and endless sky. Then, with this level of detachment, to watch these "mind produced" phenomena and allow them to drift away. Of course, it takes persistence and practice, otherwise what need would there be for teachers? And I think that, with persistent voices, extra challenges clearly present themselves. But that is not to say that it cannot be done. In the groups I facilitated in the south of England, we were lucky to have a little funding for health and wellness practices. I consulted the group members, They wished for music therapy, gong and bell baths, yoga, tai chi and reike healing, most of which we were able to obtain from local skilled practitioners. One of my most abiding and satisfying memories is recalling a dozen people, eyes closed and all smiling, laid out on mats and letting the beautiful, healing sounds of a variety of bells, crystals and gongs be skilfully played in their midst as the birds in the churchyard outside chirped their evening songs to a slowly setting sun. Now that is what a psychiatric hospital could look and sound like if only we had the vision and resources for it to happen. A space for personal healing and not simply a place for containing and managing illness. So now I am busy designing a meditation specifically suited for those hearing difficult to deal with voices. Please stay tuned! My good wishes to you. Ivan
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July 2021
AuthorActivist/ Health worker/ 20 years. Specific interests : wellness/ voice hearing/ coping/ exploring/ sharing/ stigma reduction. |